DJ Hero, please come soon. . .

27 10 2009



Yeah, it’s been a while. Too much to do and unaware of life.

Anyway, I had DJ Hero pre-ordered for my birthday (Oct.12th to be exact) and it came out today! BUT WAIT! I don’t have my copy yet! See, it wasn’t shipped out until today, the release date. You would think they would get a jump on it and ship it out to the folks that pre-ordered so it is here that day? I mean, all the cool kids are just going to the store and buying it and by the time I get to it, it will be old hat. Bastards.

Now, I AM stoked about playing this game. Totally stoked. It sold me on Jay-Z being involved and I nearly imploded when I found out Daft Punk were playable characters in the game itself!


Daft Punk! Oowa! Oowa!

If I had that scrolly helmet, mine would say, "Onions = Herpes of Fast Food Burgers"


I am literally going mad waiting for this game to be shipped into my, “Dear God I will be 30 years old in two years and still get giddy about video games” hands. I will watch game clip videos, YES, I degraded myself to watch gameplay videos and I will tap and scratch along on the desk to the screen. HOW PATHETIC AM I?



Apparently I am "fucking pathetic," what does THAT pussy know?

So I will sit there and be DJ Razor Blade Dream all to my lonesome and my imaginary turntable. *sigh* I’ve always wanted a real turntable but they are expensive apparently and I don’t know the first thing about finding a good one or even a good used one. And even if I did know what to get, I wouldn’t know what else I would need other than a shitload of vinyl. If anyone could inform me as to what turntable brand and model is the God of scratchin’ then let me know.

So the game was shipped today and I have to wait 5-10 business days. What the fuck kind of window is that? Seriously. 5-10? I can see 10 days if it is coming from China, like my Mac. Even that came at a relatively decent rate. I can drive to the place that shipped it and back sooner than 10 days. And bear in mind, this is BUSINESS days. So only Monday thru Friday. My buddy is a mailman but USPS are a bunch of grape jam fuckers.



And here's your Fingerhut catalog and ya got a grape jam jar I could fuck?

So, your lonely hero (fuck you if I’m not) sits here waiting impatiently for his DJ Hero Renegade Edition for the X-Box 360. Know what the Renegade Edition is? For one, the knobs and crossfader controls are made out of metal, gold plated that is. That is the Texas Tea of flea market jewelry folks. Gold. Plated. And the color scheme is a sexy ass black with bits of gold here and there. They are my school colors to boot. So, double trouble there. It also includes a 2-disc Jay-Z and Eminem cd. I have most of the songs anyway, but it’s a nice touch. It also comes with a carrying case that turns to a stand so I don’t have to use my lap or a random table. I just wanted the sexy ass turntable. Mmm, black and gold turntable how I love thee. . .



Mmm . . . gold plated sexiness. And the case has purty legs.

So, to the mail Gods or whoever is in charge of the USPS in Eastbumblefuck, Ohio . . . please make sure my game comes to me in one piece and in a timely manner. It’s pathetic to see me “air scratch” and people think I’m masturbating when I work the “air crossfader.” Please, if not for me, do it for the children. Thank you, jam fucker.